Movies NOT To See: January 2013 Edition

Apparently I did not do a December Edition for last year, sorry.  Im pretty sure I did though so that just makes me annoyed that there is nothing there. 

Texas Chainsaw 3D (Jan 4/13)

A sequel to the Texas Chainsaw films.  I suppose they realized that a fifth remake was a bit too much?

Storage 24 (Jan 11/13)

Aliens landing in a storage unit complex with a group of people trapped inside.  Only you could pull this off British actors/actresses, but I wont be seeing it.

Haunted House (Jan 11/13)

A parody of Paranormal Activity with Marlon Wayans.  It seems his brother is no longer with him in these misadventures, but not matter it will still be lame.  This is one of those movies that is so stupid it is funny.  Unfortunately it goes across the line of funny into just stupid.

Struck By Lightning (Jan 11/13)

Apparently we missed the guy from Glee so much we had to put him back into highschool.  I enjoy the whole writing concept of the film, and the blackmail could be fun, but I think the preview does it all for me.  I got the point, I know the story and I’m willing to skip the laugh or two thats hidden somewhere in this movie.

The Baytown Outlaws (Jan 11/13)

Action movie but it has some new twists.  Like angry “sexy” killer women, and oddly enough Eva Longoria as a lead.  It has a lot of almost’s for me but not enough.

The Last Stand (Jan 18/13)

It may be the last stand, but I doubt it will be the last Schwarzenegger movie.

Mama (Jan 18/13)

Almost had me for an interesting concept, but it is going to be one of those jumpy films that ends stupidly.  I would consider watching it for fun, but not in theatres.

Broken City (Jan 18/13)

I think I could consider watching this movie…but I will wait until it is on Netflix…maybe.

Battle of the Year (Jan 25/13)

Hm.. Another dancing movie.  But this one is mainly men so its not a chick flick.  Did I mention we have Chris Brown?….yay

Parker (Jan 25/13)

Jason Statham is a sexy man, and I love Jennifer Lopez in movies, but I think I prefer her in comedies.  Her role brings comedy to the action film which I don’t think fits.

John Dies At the End (Jan 25/13)

A movie about peoples hallucinations while they are on drugs.

Noobz (Jan 25/13)

A bunch of gamers trying to win a game off.  A lot of attempts at comedy.  Horrible preview.

A Glimpse Inside the Mind of Charles Swan III (Feb 8/13)

I couldn’t even make it through the whole preview.  What nonsense.

The ABC’s of Death (March 8/13)

A movie dedicated to death and the alphabet.  26 directors choose 26 scenes in which people die.  All different stories relating to a letter in the alphabet.  Did I mention its over 2 hours long.

Scary Movie 5 (April 15/13)

I use to love these movies.  Unfortunately, its a little late to jump on the paranormal activity band wagon and looks lame.


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