Jem and the Holograms (Film)

 

Picture Courtesy of Universal Pictures

Picture Courtesy of Universal Pictures

 

Nostalgia!  How the fond memories wash over you, then the remakes are born and the storm crashes over you leaving your a drowned rat of a mess covered in seaweed wondering what the heck just happened.

I decided that aside from my impeccable taste and skill at giving the best opinion to follow, I was also able to give an unbiased opinion.  Without having seen the movie it is an absolute guarantee that anyone who loved the original Jem and the Holograms cartoon, they would hate the film as it would ruin their fond childhood memories.  Although am I familiar with the name and look of the characters, I can honestly say I have never seen an episode of the fabled legendary cartoon.  With that aside I have no fear of nostalgia taking horn and can go into the film completely open minded.

The film took the Youtube, Justin Bieber movie route, introducing us to a group of foster girls living together and a sneaky youtube upload.  Interestingly enough, their foster mother Aunt Bailey, is played by Molly Ringwald, just to add another touch of Nostalgia.  The upload of Jem (Jerrica Benton (Aubrey Peeples)) singing a song she wrote goes viral.  Her identity remains a mystery though as she wore the signature pink wig and put magic on her face.  Producer Erica Raymond (Juliette Lewis) of Starlight productions finds Jerrica and offers her a record deal, but Jerrica bargains that her sister join her or its no deal.  The sisters go to LA and are thrown into the crazy life of fame as Jem becomes a worldwide sensation.  Insert Rio, Erica’s son played by Ryan Guzman, because you know… you can’t have a teen girl movie without eye candy.  While in LA, Jem’s strange robot, Synergy, who was created by her father who has passed, begins working for the first time.  With Synergy’s clues and the help of her friends, Jem finds the rest of the pieces to make Synergy whole, while believe it or not, finding the pieces to make her life whole.  It is all very touching if you just ignore the hardcore cheesy plot line and annoying scenes which make up the majority of the movie, and not in a good way.

Having not been a scream queen fan of Jem and the Holograms, I am not destroyed by this remake of the film.  Having gone in blindly, I have come out the other side relatively unscathed.  The film is a bust no matter which way you want to look at it.  The two major things that could have come out of this film would be new fashion for kids to take from the film starting a new trend and craze.  This I don’t see happening at all.  The second and probably most important thing they needed to do was to create hit songs that everybody falls in love with.  Although there is one song that could pass as catchy, the words are random and can’t understand them so really there is nothing left to keep you clinging to this film.

Sorry all, but Jem and the Holograms is exactly the skip worthy film you all feared and knew deep down inside that it would be.

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