Movies NOT To See: April 2016 Edition

Movies NOT To See.  A compiled list to help you weed out the good vs the bad to save your time, money and brain cells. A link to the preview has been provided in the title.

Meet The Blacks (April 1)

A spoof off the Purge movies about a black family that moves into a seemingly white neighbourhood.  The comedy and jokes would get old a little too fast.

God’s Not Dead 2 (April 1)

It’s hard to believe there is a second one of these.  God’s Not Dead 2 stars Melissa Joan Hart and Jesse Metcalfe.  Hart plays a teacher who quotes scripture while answering a student’s question which turns into a huge court case of religion in the classroom.

Demolition (April 8)

Starring Jake Gyllenhaal, after his wife dies he tries to build his life again.  As his father-in-law says, if you want to fix something you need to take everything apart and figure out whats important.  So what does he do?  He destroys his house in attempt to discover who he is and what is important.

The Invitation (April 8)

I almost considered giving this one a shot because the trailer teases in such a way to make you interested to know what exactly is going on.  Unfortunately, the summary line of “…both Will and the audience are unsure what threats are real or imagined.” confirmed that the film is not an unexpected thrill but rather a wtf did I just watch straight to DVD film.

Louder Than Bombs (April 8)

An emotional tale of a father and his sons trying to cope with the loss of their wife/mother while secrets are unearthed and the mysterious circumstances behind their mothers death are revealed.  Perhaps a very emotional and gripping film, but not really my cup of tea.  I also am not the biggest fan of Jesse Eisenbergs multi-unfascetted acting style.

Criminal (April 15)

Starring Kevin Costner as a death row inmate, a CIA agents memories and secrets are implanted into him in order to obtain information and fulfill a mission.  Interesting concept but a little predictable and nothing I would jump at.  Also starring Ryan Reynolds and Gary Oldman.

Sing Street (April 15)

Set in 1980’s Dublin, a young boy tries to win a girl over by asking her to be in his bands music video.  Only problem is, he doesn’t have a band.  He rounds up his friends and slowly make an awkward little band.  Perhaps cute and quirky but a little too indie and bland for my tastes.

A Hologram For The King (April 22)

Starring Tom Hanks as an American business man, he goes to Saudi Arabia for the deal of a lifetime and finds his way with the help of an odd taxi driver and a beautiful doctor.  Tom Hanks is a great actor and this movie may have some footing but I don’t see myself ever seeing this one.

Green Room (April 29)

A film made specifically for gory and shock value rather than any story.  A random indie band thinking they have come to an end get a gig in the middle of nowhere.  The gig turns out to be a snuff film as they are locked in a room, forced to freak out and eventually try to make a run for it, while others wait in the shadows to try and kill them.  Not even Patrick Stewart is going to save this film.

Keanu (April 29)

A film about two cousins whose kitten gets catnapped and they have to infiltrate a street gang in order to rescue him.  Seriously?

The Man Who Knew Infinity (April 29)

Not even Hollywood can make math interesting.

Term Life (April 29)

It’s okay Hailee Seinfeld, you are young, no one warned you of the damage of appearing in a movie with Vince Vaughn.  Vaughn trying to play his best action role while looking very Ben Affleck.

Dough (April 29)

An old jewish baker hires a young muslim who becomes his friend and his apprentice, oh yeah, and the young boy puts weed in the bread to bring in more business.


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