Movies NOT To see: August 2016 Edition

A compiled list to help you weed out the good vs the bad to save your time, money and brain cells. A link to the trailer has been provided in the title. 

Nine Lives (Aug 5)

I thought we left these type of movies behind.  They were fine in the 90’s but now the animal is too heavily animated and there is a 2000% chance the cat will dance and despite it being a cat movie there is a 1000% chance of the song “Who let the dogs out” being in this movie.  I rest my case.

Little Men (Aug 5)

Kind of like books, sometimes when you see a cover or poster you just know whether or not it will be good or bad.  This one, I knew I wouldn’t be putting it on my TO see list, but I watched the trailer anyway.  Well…some of it, I couldn’t make it through the whole thing. Quirky artsy films that win lots of festival films are rarely my thing.

Hell or High Water (Aug 12)

The poor folk are tired of being robbed by the bank, so two friends decide to rob the bank and no one in the town is upset by the news.

Ben-Hur (Aug 19)

Bible stories will live on forever.  It seems to be an actors/actresses checklist to star in a hollywood remake of a bible story or shakespearian remake.

War Dogs (Aug 19)

Based on a true story starring Jonah Hill and Miles Teller about two young guys who manage to score a huge contract with the pentagon.  Drugs, Sex, Guns and money ensue.

Lo and Behold, Reveries of the Connected World (Aug 19)

A documentary on the creation of the internet and peoples opinions of it’s effects and what we can expect in the future.  Interesting but I’m not usually one for documentaries.

Morris From America (Aug 19)

A young boys father pushes him to become a rapper while he struggles with just trying to be a kid.

A Tale of Love and Darkness (Aug 19)

Directed by and starring Natalie Portman the film looks to be more deep and artistic than compelling and having any real story.  I could be wrong but I imagine I won’t be missing anything not seeing this one.

The Hollars (Aug 26)

The movie could have had potential but then you go and throw in the whole Sundance festival element and it becomes one of those movies where you laugh you cry and you wonder why you even bothered.

Hands of Stone (Aug 26)

Despite the fact that it has Robert De Niro in it, I made it 2 seconds into the trailer and the mention of boxing told me all I needed to know.

The Intervention (Aug 26)

A quirky little film about a group of friends who get together in the hopes of fixing or splitting up their other friends.  Another Sundance film which should have with a seal “You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll WTF” that is what Sundance means from now on.

The Greater (Aug 26)

I don’t know what this is about; however it is a football movie so we can only assume it is about the unlikely underdog overcoming adversity to become the football star we all hoped and dreamed he could be.  No trailer available but it is 2 hr and 10 minutes long! Oy vey.

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