Movies NOT To See: March 2018 Edition

A compiled list to help you weed out the good vs the bad to save your time, money and brain cells. A link to the trailer has been provided in the title. 

Foxtrot (March 2)

An artistic foreign film about war.

Goldstone (Mar 9)

I can’t say I’ve ever heard of Outback Noir and it looks like I will never see one either.  Small town desert folk looking to keep their sex trade a secret from an outside detective.

Gringo (Mar 9)

Your average American businessman is sent into Mexico for drug-related business, what could go wrong?  I would almost see this for Charlize Theron

Thoroughbreds (Mar 9)

When crazy rich girls don’t get their way, the only logical thing is to remove the problem right?  Even if that problem is one of their dads.  I liked Olivia Cooke from Bates Motel but I’m not sure how I feel about this whole indie bad chick role.

The Leisure Seeker (Mar 9)

Starring Donald Sutherland and Helen Mirren, Sutherland is an elderly husband who has lost his memories and Mirren decides to take him on a trip in their motorhome to try and bring back some of his memories.  Sounds cute but doesn’t really grab your attention, it just sounds sad.

I Can Only Imagine (Mar 16)

The story behind the untold true story of the most play Christian song.  Some stories are better left untold.

Sherlock Gnomes (Mar 23)

Please….. for the love of…. just stop.  I beg you.

Isle of Dogs (Mar 23)

A strange film about the future in Japan where dogs have become a widespread problem so they are shipped off to an island of garbage.  Although I like claymation films there is something about the style of this film that doesn’t sit right with me.

Final Portrait (Mar 23)

The story between American writer James Lord and art-lover Alberto Giacometti.  It’s a little too artsy qwerky for me.

Tyler Perry’s Acrimony (Mar 30)

Alright, so I would almost watch this if it weren’t for two things.  One, we have already seen this starring Beyonce.  Two, why does Tyler Perry have to put his name in the movie title?  It’s almost as bad as Jason Derulo letting us know 10 times within the first 10 seconds of his songs that it’s him.

God’s Not Dead: A Light in Darkness (Mar 30)

Can’t we just stick to the biblical remakes….

Gemini (Mar 30)

The trailer describes the film as Neo-Noir.  That fact alone will tell you this means artsy, drags on forever for and ends with a twist movie.

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Movies TO See: March 2018 Edition

A compiled list to help you weed out the good vs the bad to save your time, money and brain cells. A link to the trailer has been provided in the title. 

Death Wish (Mar 2)

It’s been awhile since I’ve seen anything with Bruce Willis.  After the death of his family, Brucie takes things into his own hands and starts his own vigilante crime fighting, just without the mask.

Red Sparrow (Mar 2)

Okay, I need to see this movie.  Jennifer Lawrence looks stone cold and kickass.

A Wrinkle In Time (Mar 9)

I have been meaning to read the book for so long now, it doesn’t look like I will have time to read it before the movie but this looks sooooo good.

The Strangers: Prey At Night (Mar 9)

A continuation of The Strangers film just with new characters and a dash of The Purge.  You can’t expect cinematic genius with these types of movies but fun for a night in.

The Death of Stalin (Mar 9)

What strange little film is this?  A political comedy.  I likely won’t ever see it though.

Tomb Raider (Mar 16)

Alicia Vikander is the new Angelina Jolie and the Tomb Raider series is set for a revamp. Looks pretty cool.

Love, Simon (Mar 16)

Super cute Nick Robinson plays Simon, a high school kid in the closet and trying to get by.

Journey’s End (Mar 16)

Not a war movie fan, but it’s hard not to consider this film and it’s cast.

Pacific Rim: Uprising (Mar 23)

I never saw the other Pacific Rim movie, but perhaps I should be looking into it after watching this preview.  The trailer speaks to the gamer in me.  Hopping into a suit and powering up into a giant robot with immense power sounds pretty cool to me.

Midnight Sun (Mar 23)

If Mandy Moore in A Walk To Remember was a sick vampire.  Okay so maybe Bella Thorne isn’t a vampire but she does have a sensitivity to the sun disease and the movie is pathetically cheesy which makes it all the more perfect.  Am I the only one who noticed these little connections?  Bella…. Sun sensitivity…..Midnight Sun?  Triple whammy right there.

Ready Player One (Mar 29)

Deep dive gaming and virtual reality is a dream that gamers all have.  There are elements of the movie that are super cool, but others I’m not entirely sure about.  I would be interested in seeing it but I have some doubts.

Finding Your Feet (Mar 30)

This is one of those cheesy older woman finding herself after divorce stories that seem to be everywhere lately.  If the actresses weren’t British this film would be nothing, but the fact that they are makes it almost worth seeing.

Movies NOT To See: February 2018 Edition

A compiled list to help you weed out the good vs the bad to save your time, money and brain cells. A link to the trailer has been provided in the title. 

Peter Rabbit (Feb 9)

While we all love James Cordon and our animals to wear clothes and dance to who let the dogs out, are we really going to be satisfied after watching this one?  Perhaps hungover on the couch on Netflix but not in a theatre.

Double Lover (Feb 14)

Just in time for Valentine’s Day.  A young women moves in with her therapist, whom she loves, until she finds out he isn’t entirely what he seems and ends up sleeping with an imaginary twin.

The Party (Feb 16)

Nothing like inviting your friends over for a dinner party to air out your dirty laundry.  Turn it into black and white and we have ourselves an artistic triumph.

Loveless (Feb 16)

A Russian tale of a husband and wife who each have moved on yet continue to live together while they fight every moment than can get until their son they have been neglecting disappears.

Movies To See: February 2018 Edition

A compiled list to help you weed out the good vs the bad to save your time, money and brain cells. A link to the trailer has been provided in the title. 

Winchester (Feb 2)

A thriller horror based on the strangely true Winchester mansion.

The Cloverfield Paradox (Feb 4)

The whole Cloverfield universal is strange to me having only seen one film and not sure what is really going on.  Apparently, this film was so bad that rather than releasing to theatres it was sold to Netflix.  Huzzah for us.

Fifty Shades Freed (Feb 9)

It’s finally here and we are no longer subject to the phase of Part One Part Two finales!

Black Panther (Feb 16)

I keep saying I need to get on top of watching the Marvel movies and this is just another to add to the list.  Black Panther looks pretty kick ass.

Early Man (Feb 16)

From the creators of Wallace and Gromet, I love claymation but I really don’t see myself watching this in theatres (and to be honest probably not at all), but it looks cute.

Annihilation (Feb 23)

I have never actually heard of this trilogy and I’m not really sure what is going on.  I have my doubts that it will be any good but I’d be willing to give it a shot.

Game Night (Feb 23)

If it didn’t star Rachel McAdams I would be on the fence about this one, but she has me signed on and ready to play.

Movies TO See: November 2017 Edition

A compiled list to help you weed out the good vs the bad to save your time, money and brain cells. A link to the trailer has been provided in the title. 

A Bad Moms Christmas (Nov 1)

While most sequels can never compare to the original, I feel like this one will be much better than the first.  We’ve set the scene, we know the drill, now we can just focus on the truths and realities, the laughter and of course, Christmas!

Thor: Ragnarok (Nov 3)

I must admit, I’m a little disappointed in myself and my Marvel/DC viewings.  They do interest me but I am very far behind and not nearly as knowledgable as I should be.

My Friend Dahmer (Nov 3)

Perhaps a different approach to horror movies.  More psychologically disturbing than visually gruesome. We all know the disturbing details behind Jeffrey Dahmer’s murders, My Friend Dahmer tries to give a glimpse into Dahmer as he was in his youth.

Murder On The Orient Express (Nov 10)

From the best selling novel by Agatha Christie comes Clue on a train! But really, the film is pretty star studded and will be a good time.

Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri (Nov 10)

I’m kind of on the fence about this one, but something is telling me to give it a shot.  It won’t be the most profound thing you’ve seen, but in comparison to some of your other options for this date its chances are looking up.

Mayhem (Nov 10)

As disturbing as it is to put this on the TO see list, it’s almost like a zombies fight back film.

Justice League (Nov 17)

Once again disappointed in myself for how far behind I am on these.

Wonder (Nov 17)

A feel good film guaranteed to tug at your heart strings and bring you laughter and tears.

The Star (Nov 17)

Oi…. I’m partially cringing putting this on the TO see list.  It’s the story of Christmas told from the perspective of the animals.  There is just something about dancing animated animals that makes everyone else laugh and makes me groan.

Roman J. Israel, Esq (Nov 17)

I don’t care for the violent gang criminal movies, but you can tell this one would be a good one, you know, if you’re into that kind of thing.

Mudbound (Nov 17)

War movies and Sundance award winning films, two types of films that normally rank pretty low on my lists TO see.  While you must prepare yourself for two hours that may seem like longer, Mudbound is sure to hit you hard with emotions and get you riled up.

Coco (Nov 22)

From Disney and Pixar ❤ comes the story of the day of the dead.  The Mexican tradition where the dead come to visit the land of the living comes to animation-life.  When Miguel is magically transported to the land of the dead, he must find his way back with the help of his deceased family.  Along the way, old secrets are uncovered and the truth of his past is revealed.

The Man Who Invented Christmas (Nov 22)

Everyone loves A Christmas Carol, now experience the true story of how Charles Dickens wrote the beloved tale.  This one looks amazing.

The Darkest Hour (Nov 22)

I absolutely LOVED The Crown on Netflix and this takes me right back to that amazing show and I would very much be interested in seeing this one.

 

Movies NOT To See: November 2017 Edition

A compiled list to help you weed out the good vs the bad to save your time, money and brain cells. A link to the trailer has been provided in the title. 

Lady Bird (Nov 3)

A quirky teen girl angsting against her mother and society while trying to make her path through life.

LBJ (Nov 3)

Just in time after Trump releasing information regarding the assassination of JFK.  The only thing really compelling me to want to see this is Woody Harrelson’s performance and his transformation for the role of Lyndon Johnson.

Last Flag Flying (Nov 3)

While the sentimentality is touching, it is still just a bunch of washed up old guys traveling across the country and reconnecting.  Touching, but nothing we haven’t seen before.

Blade of the Immortal (Nov 3)

I think this is something that would have been best to stick to an anime rendition.

Daddy’s Home 2 (Nov 10)

Unfortunately, all I needed to see was “Will Ferrell” to put this on the NOT to see list.  Sorry Will Ferrell fans, but is it really worth the pain?

Thelma (Nov 10)

An international film that could actually be interesting, but sometimes I’m just not in the mood for subtitles in my movies.  Thelma begins to experience seizures and her suppressive religious upbringing and her feelings for another girl cause her to express supernatural abilities.

I Love You, Daddy (Nov 17)

The thing that makes this movie stand out and seem interesting is also the thing that I think would become old rather fast.  The black and white old Hollywood look mixed with the modern hooch and kooch isn’t quite doing it for me.  Interesting theme of old men in power with a taste for younger women coming out at a time like this.  ~ Remove all color and add old music, we have to make it look kitschy and cute and non-threatening to avoid the trolls. ~

A Fantastic Woman (Una Mujer Fantastica) (Nov 17)

While I can appreciate the struggle of a trans woman trying to deal with the loss of her partner, the emphasis on artistic struggle takes away from the story and makes it unbearable.

The Current War (Nov 24)

While the idea of Thomas Edison and his inventions is intriguing, the story doesn’t look overly compelling.

Movies NOT To See: September 2017 Edition

A compiled list to help you weed out the good vs the bad to save your time, money and brain cells. A link to the trailer has been provided in the title. 

Goon: Last of the Enforcers (Sept 1) 

As you know I’m not much of a sports movie guy, but I suppose everyone has a bit of a soft spot for Stifler.

Home Again (Sept 8) 

Reese Witherspoon’s break out role into mom-com.  That grown up stage where you become pigeon holed into adult comedies playing the dysfunctional and relatable mom.

Anti Matter (Sept 8) 

While the poster may have attempted to look cool, a sci-fi film that wins lots of film festival awards lacks the spark that many of us look for in sci-fi.  No cool visuals, just cold thought provoking artistic triumph.  Nah!

 Fallen (Sept 8)

As much as I love cheesy tween stories, this looks like it is based on an exceptionally cheesy tween novel inspired by Twilight.  I would; however, watch this for fun and likely enjoy bits of it, though nothing profoundly moving.

Year By The Sea (Sept 8)

A Year By The Sea may feel more like a year in the theatre in this mature life after divorce tale.

Woodshock (Sept 15)

Kirsten Dunst stars in this drug induced coma that tries to make art out of pain and suffering.  Snooze.

Brad’s Status (Sept 15)

Ben Stiller starring in his old man comedy about how his school chums are all successful men and he has nothing, but then he realizes he has his family and his smart kid so he doesn’t what he can to support his son, and you know…. live through him.

The Lego Ninjago Movie (Sept 22)

I may be a teenage girl at heart, but I’m not a teenage boy.  Nope.

Battle of the Sexes (Sept 22)

Based on the true story of Billie Jean King the #1 female tennis player and ex-champ Bobby Riggs in the 70’s where being a male pig was celebrated.  I like Emma Stone but I know I wouldn’t care for this movie.

Stronger (Sept 22)

Inspirational true story about Jeff Batman who was injured and lost his legs during the 2013 Boston marathon bombing.  While I imagine it is a good and inspiring movie I don’t like to purposely watch sad things just to become emotional.  Too many people thrive off of sad things just so they can cry over someone else’s story to get their own attention.

Friend Request (Sept 22)

People these days put far too much emphasis on friends/unfriending and statuses and relationships on social media it is only fitting that we have a horror movie of a girl haunting people through Facebook.

American Made (Sept 29)

Tom Cruise stars in this suspense drama about Barry Seal, a pilot recruited by the CIA.  Not really doing anything for me.